Slowing Down

I have clearly slowed down this summer as it is the second week of August and while I thought of several topics to blog about....I just never was able to get them out.  My children have all gone back to school and it's therefore appropriate for me to finally catch up a bit.  So as I sit with an iced coffee alone in my home that is blissfully quiet, my thoughts go back to where I was in May at the start of the summer.  Our family had come off of a long and busy winter and spring and I was in my mind, feeling quite excited for the travel and visiting we usually do in the summer.  However what I noticed in my emotions and body was a very different feeling altogether.  I wanted to sleep and I felt more fragile than normal.  I found myself wanting to stay home and be with the family and to sleep in and quietly tend to my garden and read my books.  Several times I tried to push past this uninvited feeling - it was summer and time for action and adventure.  But my body and heart kept wanting me to dial it down and stay in first gear.  Finally I gave in and got through only the most important social obligations I had committed to.  I cancelled all the other plans I had made in my mind and I just hung out.  And it was surprisingly nice! I began to feel calmer and my reality of needing to rest and recuperate from our crazy year was finally coming to the surface. I wasn't stir crazy or bored or lonely.  I just let myself be and didn't try to direct myself away from that.  Sometimes we are not connected in our 3 different centers of ourselves - our minds, our hearts and our body can be out of balance and we may not even be aware of it.  Listening to what is going on inside yourself is an important part of being able to know what you really need.  For me it was pushing pause on the fun activities and socializing I had planned.  As I allowed myself to let go of what I thought I wanted and let myself move towards what I needed, I literally did "stop and smell the roses" and was able to be with my children by sitting with them.  It wasn't perfectly played out but it was enough, and in a few weeks I had adjusted and felt ready in all parts of myself for the next adventure of summer!